Dr Alia Bojilova is a registered psychologist, a former New Zealand Defence Force Army Officer and, most recently, she has added author to her list of accomplishments, following the publication of her book The Resilience Toolkit.
She will also be familiar to viewers of Tracked, the popular TV show on Three, which followed teams of two from around the world as they navigated challenges in the South Island wilderness while being pursued by highly skilled military combatants.
Alia puts her psychology training to good use on Tracked and in her new book The Resilience Toolkit (HarperCollins NZ, $37.99).
As for Alia’s own story, it began in Bulgaria. “I was raised in an exuberant Bulgarian family where my father was a pilot in the Bulgarian defence force. When he turned 47, he decided to go to New Zealand for a hang-gliding competition, which was the start of my family’s New Zealand adventure.”
But arriving in Christchurch aged 17 wasn’t easy for Alia, especially when it became apparent she had practically no English.
“The language barrier was very challenging,” she recalls. “In Bulgaria, I was a confident communicator. Someone who was proud to express my thoughts effectively, and I didn’t like being misunderstood or seen as lacking, so my struggle to communicate motivated me to absorb English as quickly as possible.”
Barely a few months later – after a stint at Hagley High School playing catch-up – the determined young woman enrolled at the University of Canterbury to study law. “But I quickly discovered law was not my cup of tea so, as an escape, I studied psychology, specifically organisational psychology, which opened an entirely new pathway for me.”
After graduating, Alia was all set to start a job when a colleague mentioned he was attending the officer selection board for the New Zealand Army. “I decided to go with him out of curiosity, but after five weeks, I was ready to jump in my car and drive to Waiouru for officer training.”
Joining the New Zealand Army was a radical shift, but for Alia, the instant camaraderie of basic training created a deep sense of belonging. “The biggest challenges were mental rather than physical, so I quickly learned the value of doing things one step at a time. One foot in front of the other.”
That simple yet powerful mindset saw Alia’s military career take off, with postings to Afghanistan, Israel and East Timor. One operation in Syria led to Alia and her team being taken hostage, with Alia negotiating their release using knowledge she’d gained as lead psychologist for the SAS.
Alia even met her husband through the armed forces and eight years ago, their son Alex was born, which saw Alia step away from the army.
With son Alex. “In spite of my ninja past, he constantly challenges me.”
“After 10 years in the military – including two in the Territorials – I looked forward to being a parent and I imagined a blissful new life, free from stress.
“Yet as much as I loved motherhood, at times I felt empty and isolated. Partly because I went from having a hectic life to being on my own with a brand-new baby on our farm in the middle of nowhere, while my husband was still travelling with his work.”
As a result, the capable military officer found the early days of parenting to be much tougher than she’d imagined. “Faced with significant change, I eventually realised I was making a greater contribution being of service to one tiny human, as opposed to being stretched across a whole range of different demands, so I saw it as an opportunity to learn to slow down.”
Alia’s idea of slowing down meant completing a PhD at the University of Waikato, where she studied the link between curiosity and resilience in the Special Forces. “I’ve always been obsessed with the mindset required to navigate complex situations. What are the skills people need, not only to survive, but to thrive and emerge better prepared for the next time they find themselves in a difficult place?”
That fascination inspired Alia to share her wealth of experience gleaned on battlefields, in boardrooms and sports arenas in her guide. “The book contains resilience tools, as well as a series of inspiring stories from real-life people I’ve worked with. Every single one of them is extraordinary, and also remarkably ordinary and relatable.”
As for Alia’s son Alex, who is now eight, he takes his mother’s incredible achievements in his stride.
“One of the million things I love and admire about Alex, whatever I might have done before is less relevant to him than what we are doing today or tomorrow. Of course that might change, but in spite of my ninja past, he constantly challenges me to prove myself in the present.
“Alex pushes me to be better and he reminds me I still have so much to learn. Like the days when I think I’ve got this, he’ll show up differently, forcing me to adapt yet again. Which is the greatest gift.
“I know Alex will continue to challenge me – in a good way – for the rest of my life.”
The full series of Tracked is available on ThreeNow.
