She might be known as the “guinea pig reiki healer” from Married At First Sight New Zealand, but beneath the bubbly persona and loud laugh, Madeleine Gilbert has spent much of her life healing a troubled soul. Sitting down with Woman’s Day, she reveals it’s her devastating past that inspired her to guide others on their own healing journey.
At just seven years old, in her home suburb of Bayswater in Auckland, Maddie’s teacher sexually abused her for a year, before he moved on to another school.
“At that age, you don’t really know what’s going on,” she shares. “You start to think it’s normal. It wasn’t until I was 21 that I told my parents. They encouraged me to tell the principal, who was there at the time, but when I was finally ready to go to the police, I found out he’d died of cancer years earlier.”
Maddie, 38, learnt that after her abuser left, he moved to a girls’ school in the Waikato and she shudders to think of all the potential victims.
“After that, I began to see a spiritual therapist,” she explains. “It took a really long time, but when you begin to understand the trauma, then you can take steps forward, and learn and heal from it.”
When she was a teenager, Maddie’s parents sent her to a prestigious private school, where her sister became head girl. But Maddie’s rebellious behaviour proved too much.
“People told me to change my attitude or find a new school,” she recalls. “So I chose to find a new school!”
She moved to the public secondary school close to her home but rarely showed up to any of her classes.
“I ended up dropping out and got a full-time job at a café, and it really helped being around people who were older than me. I’m very thankful that they helped this little wild ginger rein it in!”
She realised she needed help to heal herself, not just emotionally, but physically too. Since the age of 13, she’s suffered from skin ailments she suspects were linked to unresolved trauma.
“I developed a skin irritation that was mainly around my lips and eyes, and I’d have to bandage my wrists up at night,” she tells. “I’d wake up some mornings and my eyes wouldn’t open. There were a lot of internal issues too. It all really rocked my confidence.”
After years of tests, it turned out she had a range of allergies and under-functioning organs.
“I went through the medical system, but in the end, the natural approach worked for me,” she tells. “Spiritual therapists, as well as readings with psychics, helped me heal and find my true calling in life, and ultimately drove my desire to help others.”
It wasn’t until Maddie was an adult that she connected the dots – that her behaviour and illness were linked with her trauma as a child.
“When I started therapy, I was like, ‘Wow! That’s why I was such a lost young girl and felt I always needed acceptance from men.’ I can be naïve and I easily trust the wrong people.”
She learned more about natural therapies. Years later, she met her reiki master, who introduced her to the practice, a form of energy healing.
“I began having regular reiki healings with him and the transformation was so beautiful. It’s about moving through layers. You can first remove a layer, then a new layer that perhaps has been suppressed or dormant pops up and that’s because you’ve worked through that outer layer. It’s an ‘evolving onion’.”
She decided to use reiki as a way to help others. “It’s a non-invasive way to help support someone, whether they’re going through physical pain or anxiety, it supports their overall wellbeing.”
And so her business was born – LWM (Living With Maddie) – which she runs out of her home in Tauranga.
“I can feel things in others within myself,” she explains. “If I’ve got a client with back or knee pain, or something emotional, I feel that within me. I can help move them through that. But every healing is different. I work intuitively with people. I think if we trusted our intuition more, people would be leading different lives.”
Offering reiki and acute homeopathy, Maddie works with clients to find out which therapy works best for them.
“I’ve always wanted to help people,” she says. But she’s quick to point out there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.
“You’ve got to find what works for you. I want to show there are different tools available to you if you’re open to them,” she says. “Life isn’t always glitter and rainbows. But you can make it easier on yourself. If I can help someone do that, then it makes life easier for me too.”
If you’ve been sexually abused and need help, call 0800 044 334, text 4334 or visit safetotalk.nz. Additionally, if you’re struggling with your mental health, phone or text 1737 at any time to speak to a trained counsellor for free.