Pictures: Emily Chalk
Comedian Chris Parker and husband Micheal McCabe feel they’re forever dodging “the kids question”.
He explains, “People are either asking if we’re having them or assuming we hate them. We don’t hate kids! In fact, it’s the opposite. We love them. We just can’t fit them into our lives.”
Two years on from their wedding, Chris, 33, and Micheal, 30, are loving their city life, having just purchased their dream apartment last year in Auckland’s Eden Terrace with views of the urban landscape.
“We moved in September last year,” tells Chris. “It was so hectic! We tried to buy a place around the time we got married. We bought off the plans, which is crazy. Then two days after our wedding, it fell through.
“I remember Dad saying, ‘Don’t worry – everything happens for a reason. Just relax.’ So we decided to slow down and not rush into buying, when suddenly our landlord wanted the place we were living in back.”
The Kingsland house had been the couple’s home for seven years. “We’ve had many a Woman’s Day shoot there,” smiles Chris. “It was either buy now or go into another flat and I just couldn’t be bothered. Then this apartment popped up in a building we’d always had our eye on. It was one of those miracle moments.”
At the time, architect and lecturer Micheal was about to attend the Prague Quadrennial, a global design festival in the Czech Republic, while Chris was on tour in Europe with his stand-up comedy.
With their schedules slightly overlapping, Micheal was able to do the first chunk of the move.
“There was seven years of s**t from shows and plays everywhere, as well as Micheal’s design work,” says Chris. “Then when Mike was in Prague, I did the second half of the move, with a lot of emotional support from Dad!”
To get through the ordeal, the two put their own personal strengths to good use.
“Micheal is impeccable at planning, details and logistics,” says Chris. “I’m really good at putting my head down and knocking the thing out. If it had to be the other way around – nightmare! At the time, I was performing at the Kiri Te Kanawa Theatre in the city. I’d walk off stage, come home and pack. It was crazy. But I knew how good this apartment was going to be and we were just itching to get into it.”
Since moving in, the two have been hosting and entertaining to their hearts’ content.
“We’re social butterflies,” shares Chris. “Having the apartment, we’re able to have our doors open to our community. It feels like people are always coming over, and chatting and crying on the sofa. It’s that sort of vibe.”
Adds Micheal, “Hosting is our way of giving back, and holding those relationships with family and friends. That’s the thing about not having kids is we can be very generous with our people and we love doing that.”
Both Micheal and Chris’ families have kids now, as do many of their friends, and they love to hang out with their nieces and nephews.
“I’m fascinated by parents’ lives,” admits Chris. “Friends think they’re boring me with kid-related conversations, but I love it. I’m like, ‘Tell me everything!’ It’s why I wrote Double Parked – to really explore those sorts of themes.”
Chris is the co-creator, writer and sometimes-director of Double Parked, a comedy starring Madeleine Sami and Antonia Prebble, which follows a lesbian couple as they come to grips with their new lives as accidental parents to two babies.
“The second season gets into some really interesting stuff around sperm donation and being a sperm donor, and how that fits in with their family,” says Chris. “I’m personally curious about things like that and I love exploring through writing. It allows me to answer these questions around the next chapters of our family and friends’ lives.
“In real life, I like to listen and talk with parents about trying to grapple with a past life, new life, present life, all that sort of stuff. But, of course, for Micheal and I, the life that we live at the moment doesn’t fit into that picture. It wouldn’t be fair on the kids.”
Despite knowing a lot of people with families, many of their friends, like them, have chosen not to go down the route of having children. Creating a community for those mates is a way for Micheal and Chris to connect in other ways.
“All of us childless city rats in our thirties like to feel connected and anchored to something,” says Micheal. “Having that community around is really important for us.”
Corrects Chris, “We’re city- fringe rats. We’re slightly on the outskirts.”
“We’re city-fringe rats with fringes,” adds Micheal, pointing to their bangs.
When asked if they’re still thinking about getting a dog, like they mentioned in their last Woman’s Day interview, they look at one another.
“We’re not sick of each other yet,” laughs Micheal. “Maybe later on we’ll get a medium-sized dog.”
Chris agrees before launching into the reasons they can’t commit to a pet, including their plans for a trip to Vietnam in a couple of months and, before that, his stand-up show at the Comedy Festival called Give Me One Good Reason Why I Shouldn’t Throw My Phone Off This Bridge. And his play towards the end of the year called Camping with friend Tom Sainsbury.
“We wouldn’t really have time for a dog right now,” Micheal points out.
“It’s true,” says Chris. “We don’t have time for children or a dog. The only thing we’re keeping alive is a pot plant at this point and we haven’t done such a good job of that. We’ve had to bring it back to life once already. Let’s wait and see!”
Double Parked screens 8pm Thursdays on Three and streams on ThreeNow.
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